Voices

I fear your knowing my story
I fear the thoughts of people thinking that I don't have everything together
I hate the thoughts of being Martha Stewart or Donna Reed
I am no those two women
I will NEVER be those women
I strived for more and was told NO
I had to be like my mother was
And her mother
And her mother

I refused
I got a job
I moved away
I got married
I kept my job, even though I have hated it
But your stupid voices still ring in my ears
Telling me no
Telling me what to do

I think of your post and it burns me
You blame him
I blame you
I blame you for what you've done
Even though you weren't the one
I burn in rage from your words
call it what you want
but you could have said no
No No NO

I am sick of hearing no
No you can't go here
No you can't do that
No you will never be talented enough, pretty enough smart enough
Your voices are killing me

You keep changing and morphing into something new
something that I wont recognize
And I haven't until today
and I realized that
YES I can do these things
And I do not care any longer what you say
I know the truth
I will burn your words into the page as a reminder
I will write them on my walls so that I can see

You have lied to me
You have joined with so many others and lied to ME
I am tired of the lies and betrayals
I am ready to swim in the depths of truth
I will pirate this vessel if I have to
Because I am tired of hiding
I am tired of the dark pit of your lies
I am ready to hear the voice of truth saying YES.