Wednesday, September 3, 2014

I am (Part II)

"Who am I" is a question that we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. It may come in our teens or twenties, but I am heartbroken to admit that it has came at the end of my thirties.

I have struggled to discover who that I am. I have allowed the silencing voices of others to stop me from discovering for myself, who I was when the day was done, who I am when I get up in the morning.

It takes finally silencing the critics. You can only become yourself when you finally listen to that voice, the one deep inside, that has been saying all along who you are. That voice that knows you better than anyone else does. The voice that asks you to remember the things that you love, and to begin your life, as best you can, from that point.

I have allowed the voices of parents, teachers, and "friends" to silence that voice. The voice that leads me back to words, the voice that lead me to begin photography with a very cheep digital camera, the voice that reminds me constantly about the utter joy of having paint and ink on my hands. 

When all is said and done, I am the culmination of other's voices and my own. I, however am the only one who will know if I have chosen wisely or poorly.

 I have began to search for people who believe in me and who echo the voice of my soul, the voice that knows if I am on the path I am supposed to be on. The voice that reminds me that digging deep and asking the hard questions will benefit me more than thousands of online courses will.

My soul's voice has been saying that I am an artist and a creative for many years. I have just been too afraid of it, and other's voices telling me that I am wasting my time, or reminding me of the photography show disaster several years ago. 

Through all of this, I know that when I become quiet, and listen that the voice reminds me of who I truly am. I am an artist. I am a woman who is allowing her voice to speak through mixed media art, photography, and words. I am a woman who is finding a circle of supporters who realize when my aim is off target. I am a woman in the process of becoming deeply and truly my own greatest supporter. I am a woman who is a believer in my own value and worth. 

I am now becoming myself to the deepest possible depths. 

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